I wanted to share with you one of my greatest fears.
This is going to be a very informal video & post. No screen, no lights. No makeup. Although I never have makeup anyway.
I wanted to share with you my greatest fear. It’s something I’ve been facing my whole life, but especially lately.
I’m leaving for Portugal today to give a speech Wednesday at a conference in Lisbon. I have the link in the description.
My plan was to do what I always do and continue posting my videos while researching, writing and preparing an hour or so long speech with accompanying visual presentation and a cited resource article for the attendees.
I’ve pulled this off before. But I don’t think I can this time. My own limitations are the hardest thing for me to admit and confront. I had to do the same thing the week before last when I missed the deadline for the Empty Oceans video.
Not posting my regular content even for a day is terrifying to me. I know it will negatively impact the channel, there’s no way it can’t. But it’s not about views and numbers.
For me, the scariest part of being vegan and being an activist, is that I won’t make a difference. That I’m not using my time wisely or effectively. And that I’m not pushing hard enough.
Because I’m aware every single second of every day that there are billions of innocent beings living tortured existences. And I perceive my human limitations as my failure to fight for them effectively.
I’m at a crossroads with my activism, with more talks coming up in the next few months, and with wanting to branch out into creating online courses for in-depth help with going vegan, staying vegan, and starting activism.
And I’m having to accept that I’m one person. I’m still learning and growing and finding new resources and ways to present the message to the best of my abilities.
I don’t want this to be a depressing video. Because I’m not giving up. I never will. I’ll keep fighting, as imperfectly as ever.
So just know that I’ll be a bit absent this coming week. I’m flying back to the states next Monday because staying till then was cheaper flight-wise. But I’ll be working and will try to post an update on my normal Wednesday slot, though that will be right before the speech, so we’ll see.
I’m linking some videos down below to check out if you haven’t seen them. Some of them are my “oldie but goodie” works that you might not have known about. And others are more recent pieces that I’m very proud of and would love to have reach more people.
Thank you for being patient and for all of your support. And wish me luck. I’ve been researching issues specific to Portugal and the European Union to make this talk as effective as possible.
Now go live vegan, and I’ll go work on the speech and see you soon.
— Emily Moran Barwick
Hi Emily i was wondering if you are open to let people help you with everything that you are doing, or you want to work alone all the time.
I understand the money issue. But if you are open for interns, please give me a shout.
We can help with social media, video production, multimedia design and so on.
Looking forward in hearing from you :)
Good luck in Portugal! Hugz
Emily Moran Barwick (BiteSizeVegan) says
I’m definitely open for help! And looking for help especially in social media and promoting the content, though I’m not sure how all of that will work as of yet. I’ll send you an email. Thank you so much!
sally anne hubbard says
You are making a huge difference, huge.
Your videos and speeches are forcing those people that continue to eat animals to actually face what the slaughter of these innocent animals entails.
Best wishes on your journey.
It’s not like you’re saying ‘hey, I’ll be sitting on the couch eating 20lbs of lettuce and watching reruns on the TV for a week, sorry for not posting any videos’
You’re seriously stepping up your activism Emily, as you said, you’re just one person. And you already do the work of about three dedicated individuals. You might be changing up your production schedule but you continue to be a voice for the voiceless when you’re away from youTube. We get it. We still love you and you have a mega back catalogue for us to trawl through while we wait for your next video, whenever that’ll be. We’ll be here for you when you get back with a round of applause for your INTERNATIONAL WORK and general amazingness. Best of luck for the conference. Inspire and be inspired! Travel safe.
kathleen lavelle says
You’re far too hard on yourself, Emily. You are making a huge difference …. and we are so thankful for all you do !!! But don’t over-do. Take time for yourself and relax a bit. You owe it to yourself.
Victoria Hart says
I can sooo relate, as ALL of the fears you expressed in this video are MINE too, especially as of late. Way cool coincidence that I snail-mailed you something very much related to this; it was expected to be delivered via USP on Monday, March 14,… but I’d forgotten about your conference speech. (Ah, well. Better late than never.) If you’re able to, please let me know at some point that you received the package safely. Hope it helps!!
I LOVE you, your hard work — and also admire your resolute dedication that gets you through dark days. Inspiring! Thank you!!
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Your work is wonderful and it helps. You are enough, just the way your are. The animals won’t benefit if you collapse. The animals need you to be well. We, your fans, need you to be well. And all those people who are not vegan yet but will be one day because of your work need you to remain well (although they don’t know it quite yet). So please start taking real breaks and learn to chill just a bit. If you cannot chill for the sake of your health, do it for the animals and for us. Please.
You will eventually build a team and a network. I am going through a bit of a rough patch myself, but I’ll be better and then I will help you too in some way or form, as will others. Please learn to give yourself the compassion and love that you have for the animals and that we, your fans, have for you.
Much love from Frid
Emily, you are a rock star! I’m so sorry this is causing you so much pain. I am grateful for all the work you do. I do not want you to work so hard that you are suffering. There is no doubt that you come from a place of love. We who read and watch your content are fighting the fight and spreading your word even if you do not keep to your grueling self-imposed research/video/speaking schedule. Your work is vital. You cannot do it all. Be gentle with yourself. Thank you for your passion for the animals:)
Hazel Bartram-Birchenough says
Thank you for EVERYTHING YOU DO!!! I haven’t met you but know that you are doing your best! I love your site, you are inspirational, keep going, don’t be too hard on yourself. People are harsh and often much confused about cruelty, this is a tough thing for us to deal with. Please put a protective, kind layer around yourself. Do what you can, the animals need us to be very healthy and well to advocate for them. Courage and big hugs to you!!! Good luck!
Kylie c says
Your such a beautiful souls
I’m a 20 yo vegan for only 6 months and you remind me everyday what I can do to make a difference. I love you ! I totally get the discouragement ! It’s so hard when you see the meat egg & dairy industry prospering everywhere you look, just remember it can’t go on forever. Someday this in humane speciesism will BE STOPPED ! Never give up & when you feel like you can’t make it remember why you started ! Again I love you !
Hi Emily, I know I’m a bit late on this post but it broke my heart so I had to comment. Its been about a year since I last posted, I had just started my vegan journey then. You were such a huge inspiration and support to me then and I will often go back to my favourite videos when I start doubting my choice or feeling overwhelmed by it. I know that my impact on the world is tiny, but your impact on my life has been huge! Please keep going and changing lives and standing on the front line until the rest of us are ready to get up there too :)