I wanted to share with you one of my greatest fears.
This is going to be a very informal video & post. No screen, no lights. No makeup. Although I never have makeup anyway.
I wanted to share with you my greatest fear. It’s something I’ve been facing my whole life, but especially lately.
I’m leaving for Portugal today to give a speech Wednesday at a conference in Lisbon. I have the link in the description.
My plan was to do what I always do and continue posting my videos while researching, writing and preparing an hour or so long speech with accompanying visual presentation and a cited resource article for the attendees.
I’ve pulled this off before. But I don’t think I can this time. My own limitations are the hardest thing for me to admit and confront. I had to do the same thing the week before last when I missed the deadline for the Empty Oceans video.
Not posting my regular content even for a day is terrifying to me. I know it will negatively impact the channel, there’s no way it can’t. But it’s not about views and numbers.
For me, the scariest part of being vegan and being an activist, is that I won’t make a difference. That I’m not using my time wisely or effectively. And that I’m not pushing hard enough.
Because I’m aware every single second of every day that there are billions of innocent beings living tortured existences. And I perceive my human limitations as my failure to fight for them effectively.
I’m at a crossroads with my activism, with more talks coming up in the next few months, and with wanting to branch out into creating online courses for in-depth help with going vegan, staying vegan, and starting activism.
And I’m having to accept that I’m one person. I’m still learning and growing and finding new resources and ways to present the message to the best of my abilities.
I don’t want this to be a depressing video. Because I’m not giving up. I never will. I’ll keep fighting, as imperfectly as ever.
So just know that I’ll be a bit absent this coming week. I’m flying back to the states next Monday because staying till then was cheaper flight-wise. But I’ll be working and will try to post an update on my normal Wednesday slot, though that will be right before the speech, so we’ll see.
I’m linking some videos down below to check out if you haven’t seen them. Some of them are my “oldie but goodie” works that you might not have known about. And others are more recent pieces that I’m very proud of and would love to have reach more people.
Thank you for being patient and for all of your support. And wish me luck. I’ve been researching issues specific to Portugal and the European Union to make this talk as effective as possible.
Now go live vegan, and I’ll go work on the speech and see you soon.
— Emily Moran Barwick