it’s a Bite Size Christmas Special: celebrate your holiday with this veganized version of the classic poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” thought I’d have a little fun with the poem and re-frame it in a fresh, vegan perspective.
There’s nothing quite as traditionally Christmasy as the recitation of Clement Clarke Moore’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and today I tweak that tradition by adding my own vegan twist to this classic. Enjoy the vegan edition of this much-beloved poem, made cruelty-free and animal-conscious just for you!
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was harmed, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
Kids & fur kids were nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of fresh plums danced in their heads;
And Ooby in her collar, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, without any reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Vegan St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his sleigh did come near,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called out with cheer;
“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
Now, COMET! and CUPID! and, DONER and BLITZEN!
Are no longer slaves to this sleigh- they are free!
Now isn’t that simply just how it should be?
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers he flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and Vegan St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
His sleigh had touched down without help of one hoof
As I wondered how exactly he’d gotten around
Down the chimney Vegan St. Nick came with a bound:
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
I said “Oh I do hope your fur to be faux!”
He smiled and with a wink said, “of course it is so!”
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
I asked him just how it is he came here
For how could he travel without his reindeer?
He smiled once again and gave me a nod,
“The fact I ever used deer strikes me as quite odd.
If I can bring gifts to the whole world in one night
Then certainly I can achieve reindeer-less flight!
For when work like mine is built on such magic,
The use of other beings is nothing but tragic!”
He gave a jolly laugh and launched into his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, deer and cruelty-free
And away he flew though he still called to me,
“Leave the exploitation of all animals behind!
VEGAN CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL BE KIND!”
Let me know what you thought of my re-imagining of this classical poem! I’d love to hear your thoughts and your holiday plans in the comments below!
— Emily Moran Barwick
great job Emily & Oobie-although one of you doesn’t look in the least interested. it would certainly be a MUCH better world for ALL if people would actually live this way the whole year instead of just talking about peace and love one day a year. this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes which all too true: “Aren’t humans amazing? They kill wildlife – birds, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice and foxes by the million in order to protect their domestic animals and their feed. Then they kill domestic animals by the billion and eat them. This in turn kills people by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative – and fatal – health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer. So then humans spend billions of dollars torturing and killing millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, few people recognize the absurdity of humans, who kill so easily and violently, and once a year send out cards praying for “Peace on Earth.”~Revised Preface to Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm by C. David Coates
Emily Moran Barwick (BiteSizeVegan) says
amen to that! absurd, tragic and totally true.
thank you emily and ooby (although i’m not into xmas or any other religious ‘celebration’) – i’m not sure if it was your re-working of the story, or ooby’s desperation to get off that chair that gave me the biggest laugh!
I love this vegan rendition of the classic Christmas story! I’m gonna have to doctor up my kiddos book now…I can see rolling eyes and the push-back from my partner already….it’s okay because I’m a VEGAN mama and there is no turning back!
Emily Moran Barwick (BiteSizeVegan) says
so glad you enjoyed it ;) and that’s awesome! hehe…maybe one day i’ll make it into a bedtime story book.