Let’s take a magical journey through a kids coloring book, apparently aimed at the budding sociopath! We’ll discover such enriching activities as a eugenics-themed multiple choice quiz, a hands-on activity of how to properly mutilate infants and much more.
There’s a popular online trend of taking perfectly innocent images from children’s coloring books and altering them, often with impressive artistic prowess, into deeply disturbing depictions of violence, perversion, and any number of decidedly adult themes.
It’s precisely how incredibly inappropriate the resulting images are for their intended audience of children that makes corrupting coloring books such a viral success.
Today we’re going to take a magical journey together into one particularly special kids coloring book and activity set apparently aimed at the budding sociopath! [tweet this]
It includes such enriching activities as a multiple choice quiz on who should live and who should die based on appearance and assigned value, a hands-on activity of how to properly mutilate infants, and more than you’d ever care to know about semen!
Oh and one thing – this particular coloring book – which is aimed at children and comes with the backing of the most trustworthy source for youth enrichment, the United States Government— hasn’t been altered in the slightest.
Isn’t it nice when someone does the corrupting for you?
[Be sure to watch the video at the top of this post for the fully animated experience complete with the coloring and story book pages! But below you’ll find a bit of a summary of the trip we take together and some of the super fun pop quiz questions as well!]
Let’s jump right in, shall we, and join little Billy in his raucous adventure into the world of pork production. But don’t worry – we won’t just be exploring the wonders of the Producers, Pigs and Pork coloring book. Oh no!
Today’s journey’s gonna be far more exciting than that, kiddies!
As we go along we’ll get to enrich our minds with some of the super fun pop quizzes and activities I mentioned. So have your thinking cap handy for surprise semen facts, and get ready to play god by deciding who lives and who dies. [tweet this]
So glove on up and let’s go!
Our guide today is Dr. Sarah. She’s a veterinarian. This means she loves animals. That’s nice.
Here’s Mr. Jones who owns the farm. It’s been in his family for over 100 years.
Dr. Sarah makes sure she and Billy cover up. We don’t want to bring in germs that will make the pigs sick since “producers keep all of their barns clean so the pigs stay healthy and happy.”
Let’s take a look. “In this barn newborn piglets are kept safe in farrowing stalls with their mothers. Farrowing stalls protect the piglets from injury,” says Dr. Sarah.
And remember kids, she’s a veterinarian. That means she loves animals!
Hey! It’s Pop Quiz Time!
This question come from the Swine Knowledge sheet of the Junior Quizbowl.
13. Which swine breed is known for its maternal qualities?
B. Chester White
D. All the above
That’s right, kids! Pigs form incredibly strong bonds with their babies. And farrowing crates ensure that they can express that bond through the safety of metal bars. Express it without moving. More of a metaphorical expression.
And not for too long, cause “When piglets are about 3 to 4 weeks old they are removed from their mother’s milk” so they can grow really big and be ready for market by the time they are…how old?
2. How old are pigs when they are ready for market?
A. 1 month
B. 6-8 weeks
C. 5-7 months
D. 1 year
That’s right! 5-7 months! And just how big is market-ready you ask? Well, let’s find out with more mathtastic fun from our pop quiz in Swine Knowledge!!
35. You just hauled a hog 100 miles to market. At your farm he weighed 240 pounds. How much would you expect him to weigh when he arrives at the market?
A. 210 pounds
B. 220 pounds
C. 230 pounds
D. 240 pounds
Cause there’s nothing like spending a few days crammed into a truck that’s basically a moving oven without any access to food or water to work off those last stubborn 10 pounds!
Still 230 lbs is pretty heavy for a 5-7 month old! Their exact age depends on how early they were taken from their mother. Which makes for some fun math problems like this one from the Swine Health Junior Quizbowl:
11. If a pig is weaned at three weeks of age, spends seven weeks in a nursery, and 17 weeks in a finishing barn before slaughter, how old is the pig at slaughter? 27 weeks of age (3+7+17)
But hey now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! Way before our 5-month-old new-found-friends take their final road trip, they were processed as piglets.
What is processing you ask? It’s the term we used for all the things we do for brand-new baby pigs to ensure their health and safety, including clipping notches in their ears, cutting off their teeth and tails, and—something extra special for the boy pigs—ripping out their testicles!
And just how old are boys when we slice into their scrotums, kids?
5. Approximately how old are boars when they are castrated on commercial swine farms?
A. 3-10 days
B. 10-20 days
C. 20-30 days
D. 2 months
You got it! 3-10 days! That’s why we don’t use any anesthesia. I mean, can you remember anything from when you were 3-10 days old? And remember, kids, we’re doing this because we care about their welfare!
23. Why do pork producers castrate male piglets intended for market?
A. It is fun
B. To prevent aggression
C. Boar taint
D. B and C
…and their taste. But mainly their welfare!
8. True or False Tail docking in piglets increases animal welfare by reducing tail biting.
And remember, kids, if any little boy pigs seem to be missing one or more little somethings before even being processed, be sure to take note! Because the government-backed Pork Board program will feel it’s age appropriate to ask you—at 12 years or younger—to identify the formal medical term for undescended testicles while also offering as a red herring, “One/ No Nutter.”
30. A boar with one or both testicles retained within the body cavity is called a/an ________.
A. Unseen boar
C. One/No nutter
I just wanted to remind you- these questions are written for kids 12 and under. By an agency of the US government. [tweet this]
Let’s move on.
Well kids, the fun doesn’t stop with testicle talk! You can also get hands on with this here ear-notching activity sheet where you get to learn what each little slice into a baby pig’s ear means!
And even though we do all of these things to keep the pigs super-healthy, with veterinarians like Dr. Sarah looking out for their best interest, if one gets too sick, we have a way to take care of that too! Say it with me now…
11. What is the process of eliminating an unwanted animal of poor quality called?
That’s right! (Again, made for 12 years old and under)
Which brings us to our super fun interactive picture game: “Keep or Cull!” [tweet this]
The term gilt means “young female pig.”
Just take a look at each little lady——and write “keep” next to those whose who are quality enough to live and “cull” next to those who deserve to die! You get four minutes to make each selection!
Wow! What a great way to enrich our youth! [share this meme!]
Let’s check back in with Billy on the farm, who’s learning about how very much pork producers care about the environment! Finding a place for all the poo their pigs make is a big way they help the earth!
These questions are one after the other on the quiz sheet and have conflicting answers:
4. A single 100-pound finishing pig produces approximately how much manure each day?
A. 2 quarts
B. 1 gallon
C. 1.5 gallons
D. 10 gallons
5. True or False. A single 100-pound finishing pig produces about 20 gallons of manure each day.
There are a lot of great ways to deal with poo! And pigs! You can even win money from the government when you present a winning waste management poo proposal! What fun!
14. Why would manure be injected into the ground?
A. Increase odor
B. Decrease odor
C. Decrease chance of runoff
D. Both B and C
10. True or False. Dead pigs can be successfully composted in a mixture of sawdust so that even the bones mostly dissolve.
Now that it’s almost time for Billy to leave the farm, he learns that “When pigs leave the farm, they go to a plant where they become food such as pork chops, ham, sausage and bacon.”
Because you see kids, while it’s apparently completely appropriate to ask you 12-and-unders explicit questions about the duration and onset of estrus, the current asking price for a dose of semen, and signs of heat in sows including mounting behaviors and vulvar swelling, all preparing you for the higher level Senior Semen Knowledge multiple choice and matching activity—it’s unacceptable in the government’s eyes to actually name, much less show, what happens to these pigs when they “become” the meat we eat.
Because you’re old enough to choose who to keep and who to kill, but not to see the actual outcome beyond your multiple choice answer.
You see, what matters is that “people like you and your family get to enjoy the safe, healthy and delicious food” that comes from friendly pork producers like Farmer John.
Now. Didn’t we all learn something special today?
This astoundingly inappropriate adventure was brought to you by the Pork Checkoff program of the National Pork Board, itself overseen by the United States Department of Agriculture.
And the eye-opening video analysis you’ve just so thoroughly enjoyed was made possible by the Bite Size Vegan donors, whose support allows me to put in the long hours required to bring you this free educational resource!
To support free education like this, please see the support page.
To grab your own copy of all the materials we covered today and for more information, scroll to the base of this post where you’ll also find links to educational content actually appropriate for kids, to learn how pigs are really treated, and to encounter more unbelievably blatant propaganda.
If you enjoyed learning along with Billy give the video a like and share it around to expose the perversities of government-backed industry propaganda! You can use the share buttons below or any of the tweets throughout this post, plus some memes: Kids Playing God Meme
Baby Boy Pig Castration Meme
Now go live vegan, study up for the senior semen knowledge quizbowl, and I’ll see you soon!
— Emily Moran Barwick